July 24, 2006
"No Way Back" - Nujabes
  After much consideration (plus Xanax, marijuana, and alcohol), I have decided to get my own domain. Now, this has nothing to do with the fact that individuals with domains are more popular than those hosted on measley (but kick!ass) freeservers like memebot. Or the fact that cool, catchy domain names make me happy in the pants. Or the fact that domains are just fucking awesome in general.


Part of the reason I am moving my site is because I feel bad for going about 200MB over memebot's bandwidth allowance regularly without paying. Memebot is an awesome hosting service that provides a lot of functions for its members like ftp, perl, php, and so forth. In addition, its staff is blissfully lazy when it comes to making members pay. I mean where else are you going to find this statement in a FAQ?
If your site is clearly a noncommercial, personal site, and you're not serving up GB's of images and mpegs, then we, most likely, will never send you a bill. If we do send you a bill and you don't want to pay it, let us know. If you don't feel like letting us know, then ignore it and there's a good chance that we will too.
Plus they don't support torture as a means of getting money!
Also, we don't believe in filing credit reports, hiring aggressive collections agencies, debtor's prison or other Medieval practices.
They are just full of awesome.

I suppose what I'm trying to say here is that membot is an awesome free hosting service that hosts both domains and subdomains. It's fast, and (somewhat) reliable. The problem for me is that I'm a greedy bitch and I want more.

So thanks for all of your support over the eight months this site has been open. I really never expected this site to be so popular. I hope that everyone will follow me to the next site when it does open.

I'll see you guys after the move.

July 23, 2006
"Le Tango De Roxanne" - Moulin Rouge
  Lots of things have happened since I have last written.

I've had to switch over to using the iTunes search function since I've breeched the 1000 song barrier (just barely eligible for the recording industry's special lawsuit program), for one instance. I've been to China and back for another. And the Middle East has exploded into a million shiny little pieces.

Going to developing countries always makes me realize what pussies large, developed, advancely (and terminally) capitalist countries are. But then again, what more could you expect when the slogan of advanced capitalism is (as Murakami put it in his novel Dance, Dance, Dance) "waste?"
We live in an advanced capitalist society, after all. Waste is the name of the game, its greatest virtue. Politicians call it "refinements in domestic consumption." I call it meaningless waste. A difference of opinion. Which doesn't change the way we live. If I don't like it, I can move to Bangladesh or Sudan. I for one am not eager to live in Bangladesh or Sudan... Waste is the fuel of contradiction, and contradiction activates the economy, and an active economy creates more waste.
One event that particularly reconfirmed this fact in my mind was when I watched BBCNews in Tokyo on my way back to the States.

It was just about when things were really starting to go apeshit in the Middle East with Hezbollah doing his party-trick-gone-horribly-wrong and Israel deciding that the best way for it all to go away was to bomb the living hell out of Lebanon. Glad that one of the world's great nuclear powers has such solid, firm, patient, and non-confrontational leadership on its shoulders. In any case, everyone was all crowded around the television with popcorn and drinks as if it were the newest blockbuster. Let's face it: two Middle Eastern countries getting down to the nitty-gritty? It's like high school all over again. You see the enemies hating on each other, you know that it's going to go down, and BAM! when it does go down, you sure as hell know that you want to be there watching.

Anyhow, as with most international conflicts, the press has to find a way to cover it twenty-four hours a day. You know the drill: two large buildings getting bombarded by commercial planes? Let's make sure it stays on air all the time, even if it means bringing psychos who think it's a sign of the apocolypse on the air. It's like a massive campaign for making every man, woman, and child sick of national tragedy. "Terrorist attack? Who gives a shit anymore? I just wanna watch Rugrats!"

And people think that rising apathy comes from video games.

In any case, BBC, coming at the end of their rope, turned to its last hope: 'victim' interviews. You know, where they interview a lot of people who were on the front lines. Well, except that BBC knew that Westerners didn't give a shit about actual Middle Eastern people. I mean people who watch news in English want to be able to relate to the story. And that, for BBC, meant ignoring the real victims of the crisis and interviewing the few hundred European/American people who decided to have the awesome idea of going to the Middle East for holiday (gee, why didn't I think of that)? I mean it must have come as an extreme shock when there was a crisis in the Middle East. It's like it doesn't happen every 5-10 years or so!

I believe the interviews went more or less as such:

Interviewer: So what's it like over there?

Interviewee: Holy shit! I'm, like, so miserable! We were going to go to Israel, and, like, we couldn't, cause, like, the whole Middle East exploded. And like, we can't book a plane out of Syria, cause, like, for some odd reason, everyone wants to get the hell out of here. Like, gosh! And we don't have, like, a hotel, and like, all of our holiday plans are ruined. (sob) Pity me! I'm so, like, unfortunate!

OMG! Did everyone hear that? That poor thing over there doesn't have a hotel or a plane ticket. That must suck so much!

But not half as much as being bombed.

June 12, 2006
"Yesterday" - The Beatles
  Anyone who says that being strung out four days in a row on amphetamines is not painful is lying. Or. Is trying to sell you amphetamines.

However, I won't debunk the great aspects of amphetamines here. For example, I won't deny that amphetamines can give you the greatest feeling in the world. That is, of course, followed very quickly by the worst feeling in the world. Or that it does wonders at suppressing your appetite for days on end so that you can lose an easy ten pounds in two days and go about walking with an inch of flubby skin falling off of your stomach. Or that it increases your concentration to wonderous heights. Perhaps to the point that you see through the very fabric of reality and thus start having hallucinations of penguins playing Olympic sports (this is all courtesy of the seventy-two hours of sleep deprivation of course).

Amphetamines are, of course, wonderful little pills (or lines depending) that can take you to interesting heights (without the acrophobia). They are specifically designed to make you feel like the king (or queen) of the world only to have the feeling wear off five hours later so that you feel like the gunk beneath the king's left shoe. Frankly, it's one of those pills that has those explosive endings. Explosive here in the 9/11 sense and not in the 4th of July sense; that is, crashing and burning, not bursting into a million beads of light.

Any idiot in the world can tell you that speed is amazing and hence addictive. Just ask good 'ol Paul Erdös whose only love after numbers was amphetamines. Or William S. Borroughs, the author of Naked Lunch. Or Adolf Hitler (though, I wouldn't recommend it). Amphetamines did for them what a cup of coffee and a cigarette did for our parents. I can imagine my children walking in on me one morning before I had gotten ready for work. I'd probably be sitting in my bed, belt tied around my upper arm, and needle poised over a vein in my forearm, ready to inject my morning dose of speed. Then I'd look up to them and smile a little smile and say something like:

"Sorry kids, mommy needs to get her morning amphetamine fix."

Don't get me wrong, though, I'm not a habitual speed user (yet), but I could see how I could become one and why I would. The world today is damn smart. There's a drug out there for every ailment you could ever have. Too lazy to get up and use the bathroom and thus pee your pants regularly? Take a bladdar-control pill. Tired of foresaking your cute little bikini a few days every month because of periods? Take a birth control pill. Tired of looking like a pizza? Take an acne pill.

And not only is the world today damn smart, it's also damn fast.

Can't seem to work the typically expected fifty-seven hours a day? Can't seem to suck up and smile every second of your existence enough? Can't seem to find happiness in being a corporate slave? Can't seem to get A++s on every test so that you can attend medical school? Can't seem to stay awake for over eighty hours at a time?

Well, it's good to know that humanity has finally found a cure for that too!

Ah, amphetamines, how would advanced capitalism ever survive without you?

Fact of the matter is that the bar is being raised and evolution isn't keeping up. Want a smarter human that will work nonstop for you for days on end, and smile at the customers like a retarded idiot? Well the CEOs can either wait 4 million years for sleep to be an evolutionary thing of the past or hire perpetual speed users. Want someone who will be able to fill out papers for hours on end without getting sloppy? Why wait until robots take over human employees, get someone who is obsessed with dexedrine!

But I'm not going to pin this all on society. Whether or not a person gets addicted to speed is his or her own business and fault. However, here's the golden question of the hour: if you had to choose between feeding your children and sending them off to college and giving them every opportunity possible and being homeless, poor, and suffering, what would you choose? Would you get addicted to speed so that you could work overtime so that your kids could attend Harvard Medical School debt-free? Would you aggrevate a previously unknown heart condition so that you could get the promotion that you've always been dreaming off? Would you do it so that you could see the look of utter defeat on the faces of your competitors when you get that raise before they do?

Who are we kidding? This is America, capitalist wonder of the world. Country with the hardest-worked and most screwed-over working class in the world. This is the land where people get cancer and ulcers just so that they can sit on top of their fourty story buildings and gaze at the ants below. This is the land of opportunity, where all you need to do is shoot down a few of your competitors in order to get the job (and where half of your competitors are in India thanks to outsourcing). And this is America where half of our best of the best are taking their first step out of college with a few million dollars of debt on their shoulders.

Thank God for capitalism.

  Hello and welcome to La cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point, a place where I store all of my thoughts and experiences. Feel free to look around, but please keep in mind that everything that I write here is about myself and my experiences. Thanks and enjoy.

  I am an eighteen-year-old college student who is currently attending the University of Virginia. I enjoy reading, writing, intelligence, and sarcasm. My goals in life include being a successful swindler, a professional liar, and maybe someone you could bring home to meet mom with. More?

  If you have any questions, you can contact me via e-mail. Please remove the '(at)' before sending, though.