La cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point numéro deux


	December 29, 2005

"aquarian dance" - nujabes

Throughout my life I have managed to share surprisingly little with my parents. For example, they don't know what my favorite color is, what my favorite television show is, or what my favorite porno label is (believe me, there are blatant differences in quality). They refer to my friends by order of haircolor, or, if that flawless categorization system miraculously fails, by order of height. For example, I once had an albino friend whom my parents met one day in WalMart, and, ever since, he was known in the house as 'the white-haired one,' or, in the case of Chris, 'the blonde haired one with blue eyes who is also tall.'

It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and adjectivated inside whenever they refer to my friends like that.

In any case, my parents have never had a history of knowing what I do in my spare time, which, could very well be a good thing. For all they know I could be sacrificing the children of shepards to the Devil or working as a double agent for Muslim radicals hidden somewhere in the Afghani moutains when I'm 'just going out to catch a burger.'

However, one strange thing that they have managed to find out about me is that I can read tarot cards.

You know, those decks of cards with the trippy pictures on them that are fourteen too many to play a good game of strip poker with?

In any case, I picked the vocation up back in middle school when I was looking for a few good party tricks. Actually, it was for an English report on the comparitive accuracy of various forms of divination, which also worked well as a party trick (and believe me, I have used them at parties and they are quite the hit).

In any case, you know how Chinese people use feng shui? Well, it's not actually because they want fortune and prosperity and enjoy gaining them by hauling their furniture around. It's because they're actually superstitous kooks who haven't been enlightened by the wonderous glory of Jesus Christ almighty and they are heathens and they should be burned at the stake like a well-done roasted pig. With radishes of course. Jesus, you can't have a proper witch hunt without radishes.

So anyway, my parents are such superstituous people. Hell, not only my parents but everyone in my family. And, as soon as they found out that I could read tarot cards, I have since been crowned the 'wise village hag' figure of the house (you've got to have at least one within driving distance). I'm surprised they haven't tried to sacrifice me a goatling to show me their reverence for my 'incredible powers' yet.

But I really am giving myself too little credit (as I often do, ah I'm so modest).

I do have to admit that I have a rather high accuracy rate for just putting down pieces of paper and spurting a bunch of gibberish. 90% accuracy to be precise. Though, I do have a knack of miscalculating death dates rather regularly (a minor error). All of this, of course, results in scenerios like these:

The time is a few months ago and I'm just sitting around basking in the greenish afterglow of a horrendously prepared dining hall dinner when the phone rings. And my, who could it be?

Well, it turns out to be my aunt.

Second sister to my mum and the mother of the cousin who kissed me this past Christmas to be precise.

And what does she want?

Well apparently her company's been going a little loco lately and she wanted me to tell her whether or not she should leave. And this is all happening at nine in the evening over a long distance phone call above the pile of junk food wrappers also known as my desk.

Excuse me?

You want me to tell you your fortune over the phone? Now?

Now some of you might be flattered to be so trusted by relatives 20 years your senior over such an important step in life such as this, but for me, someone who is more than used to deciding matters of the family for them with my handy-dandy $25 Thoth deck bought from an S&M shop off the coast of South Carolina, I found it incredibly annoying.

If only I had a dollar for each time I was woken up at some god forbidden hour in the morning just to read my darling grandmother her fortune over a thin telephone wire travelling below the Pacific.

"No, Grandma. Your new pet fish is not going to die. It's just sleeping. What? Yes fish sleep. No, I'm absolutely sure. It says so here in the freaking cards. Yes the cards. Okay. Okay. Goodnight."

Ah. The hardships of being a gypsy. I better get someone prettier than Quasimoto for this.


	lettres d'amour

Yeah, same with my parents. They still think my favorite color is "purple". I liked purple when I was 5! gee. lol, gee iunno about the porno though, if i had a favorite porno i think i wouldn't be inclinded on telling them.

My parents are good and remember the names of my friends. that's basically it. Haha, that's a funny way to refer to people, their hair. But hair is a good way to refer. :P

fortune over the phone? are you a psychic o_o lol.

cheers to you!


	Lyra

My parents and I have always been close but lately I rather be a little more distant, I enjoy the independence.
By the way, I like your site. Nice to see something original :)

Mike

My parents don't know my friends' names as well, apart from the few that they meet very often. I guess most parents just aren't very good with remembering names. But rather, they'd prefer to take not of the features because it requires less brain power.

My family is very superstitious as well. For example, I am not allowed to wear black on Chinese New Year, scissors cannot be placed on the bed and blah blah blah. It's driving me nuts.

Brenda

hi! my bandwidth for joyride exceeded so I'll be back at my blog aircrashh.blogspot.com dont need to relink just so you know in case you were wondering. haha. i'll go back to joyride in january which is 3 days later. (:

yu li

my mom doesnt remember my friends too well either. haha. i dont realyl mind that haha i dont tell them my friends' name too. i just refer them as "you know the one whose birthday falls on 1st january" or "the class chairnan" something of those sort.

i think my mum remembers them better this way. (: and i have a lot of friends called charmaine

yu li

Haha, my mum to be specific cannot remember my friends' names well too. She will just say "the girl whom you're always with"~ -_-" She only saw the friend I am with when I was after my tuition. Lol. Being superstitious, not really that much. Tarot cards sound pretty fun. :D

Evone

How exactly do people not know that fishes sleep?

I guess every family has their cross to bear.

Arielle


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