December 31, 2005

"Marching Bands of Manhattan" - DCFC

My house is very special to me because it was contracted and built by my own family. The floorplan and all the materials in the house was selected and personalized by my family. Needless to say, it was hell to live through the process. For about an entire year we practically lived in the Home Depot just browsing through five different carpets (which my mother swore were all different). We learned the names of all of the employees. We were on a first name basis with the managers. We were completely losing our minds, and my parents were damn near about to lose their marriage over which marble to use on the kitchen countertop. But, like the contractors say: If your marriage can survive through a house, it can survive through anything. In any case, I thought I'd take a few pictures of the house while the Christmas tree was still up.An outside view of our house. The product of all of our torment. God, I don't even want to remember how goddamn long it took to choose the brick for this house.Our foyer that is now sporting mom's latest faux oil painting venture. Can't say that I'm fond of the painting but in this house, mom is Jesus and we worship whatever she says because otherwise she will make our lives seem as if it were hell. The family room with the ultra large television that no one can watch but Jesus (mom) and occassionally random leper guy who is kicked around by Jesus (dad). The first one is from the first floor and the second photo is from the the second floor since the ceiling of the room spans two floors. A bitch to find curtains for.The living room where we never entertain guests in. This is not only because we are unpopular and no one loves us, but because we are unpopular and no one loves us.The dining room which we also hardly ever use. However, when we do manage to use it, you can be sure that there will be lots of fine liquor involved. See that china cabinet? That's where we keep all our moonshine. Shush, though. Don't tell the authorities.The almighty kitchen where the womenfolk (minus Jesus) slave away day and night to feed the man of the house. Actually dad is a lot more willing to cook then most men are, but his curious scientific nature has resulted in eternal banning from the groceries. Seriously. Mom has been known to cry and throw a hissy fit when dad touches the produce.Speaking of dad's inquisitive nature, he has turned a good half of the basement into his own personal laboratory. This used to be the workout room where we all came together to decided not physically exert ourselves.Our pool table. We also don't play pool very much. Well, dad does, but us womenfolk don't. A startling number of friends have commented that they would very much like to have sex ontop of the pool table, though, so I've been devising a means of profiting from my friends' overwrought and kinky libidos.We turned our storage room into a storage room for the pingpong table. I feel very uncomfortable being in the room because the walls are still pure unadulterated cement. A very...concentration camp gas chamber 'please preoccupy yourself with a stimulating game of pingpong before we kill you' feel.I think that my father has a television fetish. Perhaps it was because when he was little his family was so poor that he was forced to actually build one with his own two hands. In any case, when we were building the house, my father absolutely insisted that we have a projection-style television in our basement (the type that you have in movie theatres only a smaller version for the home). Dad won't let us touch it. It's his baby.Now going upstairs to the second floor, we have dad working on disproving the Universe while mom takes a post-breakfast nap. I like how they're huddled around the fireplace that they've only used once. The result was a room smelling of natural gas and the fear that we were all going to spontaneously combust.Dad's television fetish again. We have 10 television sets in our house total. None of which, are located in my room.My sister's room. I've got nothing to say other than that I spend more time in this room than my sister actually does. First of all, she stole everything that was in my room prior to my leaving for college. Second of all, she has a room downstairs equipped with a karaoke machine, television, and plasma-screen computer. I feel deprived.My room. It's the smallest room in the entire house. And the coldest. No, my parents don't abuse me nor do they only feed me onion skins. I chose this room because it is the only one in the house that has a vaulted ceiling. Because of that, I frequently sit around and don't look at the ceiling and then complain about how small and cold my room is.This is my baby, a 2003 two-door Honda Civic with our boat in the background. It's been through one accident in which the other car was totalled (due to age, not due to damage). The driver of that car was also a classmate of mine. He had to drive his mom's feminazi van for months.Mom's van. It's about about 8 years old and it's starting to show. For example, the locks are wonky and the kids who are sitting in the back always end up being the last to get out of the freezing sleet and rain (of course, mom could have done that on purpose, she is a bit sadistic). I'm waiting for this thing to age properly so that it can earn a makeover on Pimp My Ride. I'd love to see my mom meet Xhibit.Dad's car. I hate it. I begged him not to buy it. On two knees. Ergh. It's so ugly.The old playground that we built a few years ago for my little sister. I hope that no one plays on it any time soon because it's certainly considered a liability at this point in time.And in final parting, a shot of our hillbilly wasteland. Ah Virginia. How grand and barren you are from tobacco overproduction. God it's good to be home.

lettres d'amour

you are so hilarious. ROFL

	misstechie

My parent's marriage didn't survive through a house. The house is still being built and my parents are splitting up. Wow, your house is amazing. It's got such a 'family at home' feel to it. A house anybody would be comfortable in.

	Carina

Omg, you have the most beatiful house EVER!

	Taff

i really enjoyed reading your blog and looking at your pictures :) . you have a lovely home!

	Kimmi

wow i love your house!!! it's like more than n times ( where 1 < n < 10 ) bigger than mine.. happy new year!!

	desmond!!

That's just gorgeous! I'm jealous. Happy New Year, btw! xx

	Giselle

Your house is really big, and ten television sets! My house only has.. two. But it's enough I guess. Happy 2006! XD

	Cherry

I want your television set. Send it to me via UPS

	Jeff

I'm jealous. Btw, it's me, your fan! I wish I can live with you. Or live nearby and stare at your house. And if I did, I can be that unwelcomed guest you can entertain in that living room.

	jessica

your house is so pretty! my house has been untouched for.. 20 years? haha. you missed out the toilets! xD happy new year!

	yu li

Haha. Your mom and Xhibit. That would be a very interesting episode of Pimp My Ride. Happy New Year!

	Arielle

	bienvenue

Hello and welcome to La cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point, a place where I store all of my thoughts and experiences. Feel free to look around, but please keep in mind that everything that I write here is about myself and my experiences. Thanks and enjoy.

	fille

I am an eighteen-year-old college student who is currently attending the University of Virginia. I enjoy reading, writing, intelligence, and sarcasm. My goals in life include being a successful swindler, a professional liar, and maybe someone you could bring home to meet mom with. More?

	écrivez

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