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| Anyone who says that being strung out four days in a row on amphetamines is not painful is lying. Or. Is trying to sell you amphetamines. However, I won't debunk the great aspects of amphetamines here. For example, I won't deny that amphetamines can give you the greatest feeling in the world. That is, of course, followed very quickly by the worst feeling in the world. Or that it does wonders at suppressing your appetite for days on end so that you can lose an easy ten pounds in two days and go about walking with an inch of flubby skin falling off of your stomach. Or that it increases your concentration to wonderous heights. Perhaps to the point that you see through the very fabric of reality and thus start having hallucinations of penguins playing Olympic sports (this is all courtesy of the seventy-two hours of sleep deprivation of course). Amphetamines are, of course, wonderful little pills (or lines depending) that can take you to interesting heights (without the acrophobia). They are specifically designed to make you feel like the king (or queen) of the world only to have the feeling wear off five hours later so that you feel like the gunk beneath the king's left shoe. Frankly, it's one of those pills that has those explosive endings. Explosive here in the 9/11 sense and not in the 4th of July sense; that is, crashing and burning, not bursting into a million beads of light. Any idiot in the world can tell you that speed is amazing and hence addictive. Just ask good 'ol Paul Erdös whose only love after numbers was amphetamines. Or William S. Borroughs, the author of Naked Lunch. Or Adolf Hitler (though, I wouldn't recommend it). Amphetamines did for them what a cup of coffee and a cigarette did for our parents. I can imagine my children walking in on me one morning before I had gotten ready for work. I'd probably be sitting in my bed, belt tied around my upper arm, and needle poised over a vein in my forearm, ready to inject my morning dose of speed. Then I'd look up to them and smile a little smile and say something like: "Sorry kids, mommy needs to get her morning amphetamine fix." Don't get me wrong, though, I'm not a habitual speed user (yet), but I could see how I could become one and why I would. The world today is damn smart. There's a drug out there for every ailment you could ever have. Too lazy to get up and use the bathroom and thus pee your pants regularly? Take a bladdar-control pill. Tired of foresaking your cute little bikini a few days every month because of periods? Take a birth control pill. Tired of looking like a pizza? Take an acne pill. And not only is the world today damn smart, it's also damn fast. Can't seem to work the typically expected fifty-seven hours a day? Can't seem to suck up and smile every second of your existence enough? Can't seem to find happiness in being a corporate slave? Can't seem to get A++s on every test so that you can attend medical school? Can't seem to stay awake for over eighty hours at a time? Well, it's good to know that humanity has finally found a cure for that too! Ah, amphetamines, how would advanced capitalism ever survive without you? Fact of the matter is that the bar is being raised and evolution isn't keeping up. Want a smarter human that will work nonstop for you for days on end, and smile at the customers like a retarded idiot? Well the CEOs can either wait 4 million years for sleep to be an evolutionary thing of the past or hire perpetual speed users. Want someone who will be able to fill out papers for hours on end without getting sloppy? Why wait until robots take over human employees, get someone who is obsessed with dexedrine! But I'm not going to pin this all on society. Whether or not a person gets addicted to speed is his or her own business and fault. However, here's the golden question of the hour: if you had to choose between feeding your children and sending them off to college and giving them every opportunity possible and being homeless, poor, and suffering, what would you choose? Would you get addicted to speed so that you could work overtime so that your kids could attend Harvard Medical School debt-free? Would you aggrevate a previously unknown heart condition so that you could get the promotion that you've always been dreaming off? Would you do it so that you could see the look of utter defeat on the faces of your competitors when you get that raise before they do? Who are we kidding? This is America, capitalist wonder of the world. Country with the hardest-worked and most screwed-over working class in the world. This is the land where people get cancer and ulcers just so that they can sit on top of their fourty story buildings and gaze at the ants below. This is the land of opportunity, where all you need to do is shoot down a few of your competitors in order to get the job (and where half of your competitors are in India thanks to outsourcing). And this is America where half of our best of the best are taking their first step out of college with a few million dollars of debt on their shoulders. Thank God for capitalism. |
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